Dear ballerina

Dancing like a beautiful ballerina, she twirls and twirls and twirls, like there's just no end to it all.
Then she falls. She doesn't get up, no, she doesn't. She's laying there, bare naked. You can almost touch her skin with your eyes.

She's pale, very pale.

She doesn't like getting up when she falls. Know why?
Because she doesn't know why she should.
What's wrong with falling and never getting up? What's wrong with laying there waiting to be preyed on? You see a girl or do you see a soul? A weak soul, dimming, blending into the dark night. The moonlight is shining, but she hides away from it.

Those eyes. They're wide open. Not once has she blinked.
You ask yourself "Is she alright? Is she dead?" I tell you she's perfectly fine.
The one who's not is you.

She sees you. She sees right through you, just like she's starring into a crystal clear window, through to all the dirt and blood. She sees your secrets. That's why she's got her eyes wide open. But she's not scared. Not one single bone in her feels a chill from all the gore and horror.

She's just a beautiful ballerina.

in the night

what are words? what are words to me? what are words to you? They can mean so much to me, yet so little. Then again, they can mean nothing at all. Words are slowly disappearing. Words are replaced. Words that reflect pain, guilt, conscience, love, no one uses words anymore. It's a war we've lost against each other. Not being able to express our feelings. Simply because people are ignoring feelings. Neglecting it, abandoning feelings. Scrunching it up like a piece of blank paper and throwing it into the bin. Not the recyling one, but the one that says "TRASH" Are feelings considered rubbish? Cause if so i'm rubbish then. Just crumple me up and throw me away because i'm full of rubbish. I'm full of shit if you may say so. People find feelings to be annoying, a waste of effort to provide even the slightest bit of sympathy. How much rubbish have we thrown away over the years? Countless. How much of it have we picked up and considered it a jewel? Too few to even have it written down as a note. Feelings are like splinters. It gets you deep and it hurts. Not to mention that it's hard to get rid of. It's either you leave it in or just go through a hard time trying to pick it out. We're all bloody emotional. I'm envious of a lot of things. Probably envious of you. It's a compliment, really.

weekend is in

In fact

Waking early in the morning
The sun is shining brightly once again
Looking out your window waiting for the rain
Wishing it could wash away the pain

I ask of you to realize
There’s more to life than this

It’s time for you to notice
No matter how cliche these words may sound
You know it's all that you've been doing
All that you'll continue doing


So,

Live a little harder
Love a little better
Learn to reinvent yourself
Learn to stand up tall

Fact is,

Dreams will always live on
Within our own believe
We strive to be the greatest
For all of the world to see

So,

hold your head up high
Cause it’s you that makes it all come true

i'm flawed

It’s never been the same since you walked away
But now you’ve left me
And it’s all because of what I’ve done
It’s never been the same when you screamed my name
But deep down you were hurting more than anyone

I stole your heart
And I cut it deep
I left a scar
That everyone can see
Words can never mend you now
For all the wrongs that I have done
It isn’t fair, and I know
Forgiveness isn’t what you ask for
Because I’ve drowned your voice
In all the ugly truths I speak

I know now that forever
I can never kiss your smile again
You will never trust my eyes again

All this time, all this while
I was living a painless lie
Forgot that all I had
Was standing right by my side
I was hiding from romantic truths
All because I thought
It wasn’t what I’d choose

A quote from "Fragile Things" by Neil Gaiman

"In a perfect perfect world you could fuck people without giving them a piece of your heart. And every glittering kiss and every touch of flesh is another shard of heart you'll never see again. Until walking (waking? calling?) on your own is unsupportable."

"unknown"

another work just completed.

It's in ma blood

I've still got. :)

sketch

quick sketch of an idea while seeing my brother making a fool of himself trying to hold a mug up.

In my head

another one of my works done lately.

"unknown"

one of my works done lately.

night after night

second hand is ticking on the clock.
it goes by not like how it's suppose to be.
not minutes, nor hours, but days.
very long and empty days.

i'd enjoy the sound of footsteps occasionally, but there is none to be heard.
Moving shadows, i dare to ignore.

A silent whisper gently close to my ear? none.

I tell you i'm a okey, when in fact
i'm not at all.
at least not for a while.

This smile, the laughter, the giggles.
That's another me i play.
Another me, that is for only fools to see.
The other me, only for me.
No one else.

Rare occasion

This is a first.

withdrawal

alas i saw
within those eyes
i prayth not it be eyes so wide
for within it lies a mortal site
trembles and shakes my very core
wering thin within my soul

it bores

i cannot control it
stop it didn't
it bores through my skin
tis horrid withdrawl

where, when, why.

sometimes i just wanna cry
sometimes i just need to cry

most of the time i know i'm hurting
most of the time i see myself hurting

every inch of me feels alone
every inch of me wants to be left alone

i think of death
i feel death

death it is
always a part of us
especially us

i want to run
run
run
run