He looked at me straight in the eye, as he lit a very long cigarette with a very gold lighter. One eyebrow was still up there. which seemed quite an achievement with all the eyeballing and cigarette lighting that was going on.
'Blimey,' I said.
'Well, enjoy it, because this may be a small town by world standards but it's a tough one. The knives are just as sharp here as they are on Fleet Street or whatever, and they are wielded by the most surprising people.
'And two other things.' He counted them out on his fingers.
'One: watch out for that Jasper O'Connor, he's as big a prick as he looks in that stupid hat; and two: you need to have manicures. Sydney is a nails town. You're a smart girl, you'll find out. In the meantime, if you'd like some more unsolicited advice, call me. This i my card. Goodbye.
With one last salute from his eyebrows, he picked up one empty glass and two full bottles of champagne and shouldered into the crowd.
Feeling slightly like I'd just been mugged, I looked down at the small card he'd given me, which said 'Anthony Maybury. Costumier', and automatically ran my finger over the type to see if it was engraved.
'Yes, it is braille.' I heard him say, but when I looked up, he'd gone. And then I realised something else about Anthony Maybury, costumier. He was the only person at the party not wearing a hat.
Even though it was just after four in the afternoon the place was already pumping, and the lavishness of the headgear made the room seem even more crowded than it was. The noise level was unbelievable, with shrieks of hilarious laughter and general yelling almost drowinng out the DJ. There seemed to be all age groups here, from beautiful young creatures to middle-aged men and women, and they were all milling around, hopping from group to group and greeting each other with great hugs and cries of delight.
I had been invited to this fixture in Sydney's alternative social calender just a few nights before, when I'd met its host, Danny Green, at a special preview of an exhibition at the Powerhouse Museum.
I wasn't aware I knew Danny until he bustled over to me, with three cameras around his neck, kissed me warmly on both cheeks, and pushed me together with two total strangers to take our picture. I had no idea why and it seemed rude to ask. He seemed very nice, whoever he was.
'Oh and Georgie,' he'd said, after asking how to spell my name and ignoring my repeated corrections of 'Georgia, not Georgie, Georgia.' 'You must come to my Australia Day party this weekend. Everyone comes - you'll love it. You can meet all of Sydney in one go. It's in my studio and the only rules are: wear a hat and bring a bottlw. I lay on the tea. Everyone lays on top of everyone else.'
He whooped with laughter and thrust an invitation at me, featuring a picture of him in a Mad Hatter's topper with a condom tucked into the band, holding a black poodle wearing the same.
'And the great thing is,' he added, conspiratorially, 'even though it's on a Sunday, everyone's got the Monday off, so we can get as trashed as we like.'
When I got home that night I called the only person I felt I'd really got to know in the two weeks I'd been in Sydney, to find out if I should go or not.
Liinda Vidovic was the features writer at Glow magazine, where I worked. It was a monthly glossy aimed at eighteen - to twenty-six-year-old women and full of useful information about orgasm, lipstick and the precise anatomy of the male sexual organs. Following our advice, conscientious readers of Glow could learn to jog in high heels, lose weight through multiple orgasms, exercise their stomach muscles while delivering the perfect blow job and balance their cheque books while flirting with the boss (male or female, we advocated flirting with everyone, even dogs and inanimate objects).
When I came in as deputy editor, Liinda and I bonded on sight because we had the same Prada handbag. (I didn't find our until later that hers was a Bangkok fake.) I was also intrigued to find out that she'd changed her name from Linda to Liinda by deed poll, because it was more fortuitous in numerology, one of the many ologies which rule her life.
Bag aside, Liinda was also thrilled to meet me because she knew I'd arriced from London with a severly broken heart. Liinda loved emotional catasrophes more than anything. There was always the chance she might get a feature idea out of them. I was shaping up to be 'If You Leave the Country, Will He Leave Your Heart?', which was definite coverline material. And coverlines are everything on a magazine like Glow. As the editor, Maxine Thane, was always telling us: 'Coverlines are what sell magazines, girls. Not all the shit inside.'
I did believe Liinda liked me - she had done my astrological chart within an hour of our meeting ans announced with glee that we were destined to have an intense, supportive friendship punctuated with major dramas, because she is a triple Scorpio and I am a Gemini with Scorpio rising. But I was also aware of the coverline factor, although I couldn't really blame her - my romantic disaster was a gothis horror.
The man I had come to Australia to forget was called Rick (rhymes with ... ) Robinson. What can I tell you abotu him? He was the senior art director at a major London advertising agency. Very highly paid, very good looing (black hair, blue eyes, devastating smile, that kind of thing), very bright, very successful, very groovy. We'd been together for five years and were, in fact, 'engaged' (a 'hideously' bourgeois term, according to Rick). But it wasn't his impressive CV and vintage Mercedes convertible that attracted me - I really loved Rick. He was funny. He was thoughtful. He was an Exocet missile in bed.
purple haze
no words shall describe natures' beauty
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
"Pants on Fire"
Chapter One:
pg 1 - 3 1/2
Of course an erect penis is all very well at the end of a party, rather to be desired generally, but it's not the first thing you expect to see when you enter the room. Yet there it was, in all its concupiscent glory, on the head of a man with a small goatee beard.
I'd been feeling a tad conspicuous in my own headgear coming along the road but, on seeing this creation, my two-foot halo of flamingo-pink feathers, cunningly fashioned out of three cheap feather boas, suddenly seemed a bit tame.
'Well, you certainly seem to be enjoying yourself,' I said to Dickhead, leaning past him to refill my glass with champagne. I'd already drained the first one in the five paces between the waiter at the door and the drinks table in the corner of the large white room.
'Did you make it?' I asked him, taking a closer look at the lovingly painted papier-mache.
He turned, giving me a very unsubtle once-over.
'You know somewhere you could buy one of these? Of course I made it.'
'Clever old you. But why?'
'Because I come to this party every year. Which means that every Australia Day for the past twelve years, I've been in this room, wearing a stupid hat. I've always felt like a dickhead, so this year i thought i might as well look like one, too.'
I nodded enthusiastically - this was my kind of conversation.
'So, following your argument, am I to take it that the gay over there wearing the Indian chief's headdress has always felt like one of the Village People and now he's decided to go public about it?'
'Loud and proud, baby. And that's the other reason I'm wearing a big fat dick on my head. Because that's what this party is really all about.'
'Big fat dicks?'
'Yep. They might be talking about opera, or the government's new policy on unemployment benefits - which stinks, incidentally - but what every man in this room is really thinking about is cock.'
You included?'
'Oh yes. Especially me.'
I hoped my face didn't fall too obviously. Not that I've got anything against gay men - in fact, you could probably describe me as a full-blown fag hag. I just didn't particularly want this bloke to be gay. He was very attractive in an odd way. despite the ghastly goatee, and he was funny. Even when he was being quite rude I couldn't help noticing he had beautiful green eyes, and I liked the way they creased up when he licked the paper on the joint he was rolling. And I liked the way he lit it, it took a quick toke to flame it up and then held it to my lips.
'The only difference,' he explained, as I sucked prettily, 'is that I'm thinking about my own.' With which he took the joint out of my mouth, clamped it between his teeth, winked and pushed his way back into the crowd, holding four glasses and a bottle of champagne.
'And if you want to continue this conversation,' he said over his shoulder, 'try the back bedroom.'
'Otherwise known as the Persian room,' said a voice from behind me.
I turned round to see a slim man, dressed entirely in black. He was about thirty-five, with dark skin, short black hair standing up straight like a brush, and one ironically raised eyebrow. You noticed the eyebrow particularly, because it stayed raised whatever the rest of his face was doing.
'Persian?' I said, picturing a lavishly tented parlour, with belly dancers and Nubians.
'Persian rugs. Drugs. Anthony Maybury, how do you do?' He held out his hand.
'Georgia Abbott, lovely to meet you.'
'Yes, I know, the famous Georgiana Abbott. I was wondering when I'd meet you. Good handshake. That looks like a real Pucci catsuit. Nice shoes.'
'What? How kind, although I wouldn't say I was famous. How did- '
'Darling,' he said, both eyebrows now working in turns. It was like watching a puppet show.
'What you have to understand is that this is a very small town and you are new to it. You've moved here from London, an acme of world glamour, rivalled in our colonial imaginations only by New York. You have worked for European magazines, which we buy like slavering wretches at vastly inflated prices when the cover date is already three months old because we think they might let us in on all the interesting stuff that's happening over there in the fashionable hemisphere. We've seen your name in print, and I know for a fact that you have been to Naomi Campbell's house and have Karl Lagerfeld's home phone number. To us, you are famous.'
pg 1 - 3 1/2
Of course an erect penis is all very well at the end of a party, rather to be desired generally, but it's not the first thing you expect to see when you enter the room. Yet there it was, in all its concupiscent glory, on the head of a man with a small goatee beard.
I'd been feeling a tad conspicuous in my own headgear coming along the road but, on seeing this creation, my two-foot halo of flamingo-pink feathers, cunningly fashioned out of three cheap feather boas, suddenly seemed a bit tame.
'Well, you certainly seem to be enjoying yourself,' I said to Dickhead, leaning past him to refill my glass with champagne. I'd already drained the first one in the five paces between the waiter at the door and the drinks table in the corner of the large white room.
'Did you make it?' I asked him, taking a closer look at the lovingly painted papier-mache.
He turned, giving me a very unsubtle once-over.
'You know somewhere you could buy one of these? Of course I made it.'
'Clever old you. But why?'
'Because I come to this party every year. Which means that every Australia Day for the past twelve years, I've been in this room, wearing a stupid hat. I've always felt like a dickhead, so this year i thought i might as well look like one, too.'
I nodded enthusiastically - this was my kind of conversation.
'So, following your argument, am I to take it that the gay over there wearing the Indian chief's headdress has always felt like one of the Village People and now he's decided to go public about it?'
'Loud and proud, baby. And that's the other reason I'm wearing a big fat dick on my head. Because that's what this party is really all about.'
'Big fat dicks?'
'Yep. They might be talking about opera, or the government's new policy on unemployment benefits - which stinks, incidentally - but what every man in this room is really thinking about is cock.'
You included?'
'Oh yes. Especially me.'
I hoped my face didn't fall too obviously. Not that I've got anything against gay men - in fact, you could probably describe me as a full-blown fag hag. I just didn't particularly want this bloke to be gay. He was very attractive in an odd way. despite the ghastly goatee, and he was funny. Even when he was being quite rude I couldn't help noticing he had beautiful green eyes, and I liked the way they creased up when he licked the paper on the joint he was rolling. And I liked the way he lit it, it took a quick toke to flame it up and then held it to my lips.
'The only difference,' he explained, as I sucked prettily, 'is that I'm thinking about my own.' With which he took the joint out of my mouth, clamped it between his teeth, winked and pushed his way back into the crowd, holding four glasses and a bottle of champagne.
'And if you want to continue this conversation,' he said over his shoulder, 'try the back bedroom.'
'Otherwise known as the Persian room,' said a voice from behind me.
I turned round to see a slim man, dressed entirely in black. He was about thirty-five, with dark skin, short black hair standing up straight like a brush, and one ironically raised eyebrow. You noticed the eyebrow particularly, because it stayed raised whatever the rest of his face was doing.
'Persian?' I said, picturing a lavishly tented parlour, with belly dancers and Nubians.
'Persian rugs. Drugs. Anthony Maybury, how do you do?' He held out his hand.
'Georgia Abbott, lovely to meet you.'
'Yes, I know, the famous Georgiana Abbott. I was wondering when I'd meet you. Good handshake. That looks like a real Pucci catsuit. Nice shoes.'
'What? How kind, although I wouldn't say I was famous. How did- '
'Darling,' he said, both eyebrows now working in turns. It was like watching a puppet show.
'What you have to understand is that this is a very small town and you are new to it. You've moved here from London, an acme of world glamour, rivalled in our colonial imaginations only by New York. You have worked for European magazines, which we buy like slavering wretches at vastly inflated prices when the cover date is already three months old because we think they might let us in on all the interesting stuff that's happening over there in the fashionable hemisphere. We've seen your name in print, and I know for a fact that you have been to Naomi Campbell's house and have Karl Lagerfeld's home phone number. To us, you are famous.'
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
9
Tim Burton's movie "9" sounded interesting when first heard of. With actor Elijah Wood as voiceover of the lead character in the movie - number "9", i assumed it would be an amazing animated film. I was right, partly. The graphics was great indeed, details in how the characters move and react. What diassapointed me most was the story, particularly the beginning of it. It was difficult to make sense of but as the film continues, the past unfolds. Thus i understood the film as it got closer to the end. Duration of the film is short, supposedly the film isn't made to fit the "EPIC" title. But i dare say this, WATCH IT!
Not a bad film. Besides, it's by Tim Burton. Majority goes to saying it's a good film. I vote for that. :)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Play time kids.
bunch-o-kids at the playgroud near the beach. It was a fun day. Definitely one to be put into the "All time Crazy Days of my life" book (if i HAVE a book like that). We're just innocent little children of Group 7 RMIT Foundation Arts, Design & Architecture class having a day off because of good-ol Melbourne Cup day. * :D *
PICNIC, not really.
nyahahah! finally, picnic! ... well, sorta. More like, day out at Williamstown Beach. It WAS suppose to be a picnic, but then ... there was a breeze (not a fart breeze kinda BREEZE). It was exceedingly windy. *nod head twice* (I'm the one in blue ~_~). It was windy enough for me to put on my AWESOME blue hoodie and cover my face with my ever oh-so reliable hand of mine. This picture was taken when we were ON OUR WAY to the beach. It's a nice place, thinking of moving there when i get a job, get a beach house, you know, kids, family picnics and bbq...i'm thinking too far ahead. Let's just stop at 'when i get a job' part.
CAMWHORE
Hey, when you're bored, YOU'RE BORED!
right?!
just one of (ah shit, i almost typed in "dos" in stead of "those") THOSE days when you have a group of people deciding to get serious on things.
a) realize work is behind schedule
b) decides to get shit-ass serious
c) books a group study room in the library
d) decides to sit down and start working
e) CAMWHORE!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
personality check
An assignment for my new media course at RMIT Foundation studies Arts and Desgin.
The PHOTOMONTAGE should scream "MICHELLE WONG". Meaning, it should resemble my personality.
I think this one's perfect. Agree?
.jpg)
>_<
The PHOTOMONTAGE should scream "MICHELLE WONG". Meaning, it should resemble my personality.
I think this one's perfect. Agree?
.jpg)
>_<
Monday, August 24, 2009
dexter wong
He's always inspired me ever since i started to have an interest in fashion designing. I've looked up to him as if he's the best ever. His designs may not be the usual Karl Lagerfeld or Alexander McQueen. But his designs scream DEXTER WONG. I admire him for truly believing in himself, whatever he set his mind in doing. He's original, fresh and amazingly hardworking. He's brought himself into a society that no ordinary person can. And i to, looking at this proof, hope that one day, i am able to be right in his shoes.Love you uncle Dex.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
procrastinating
people, i have a confession....*sighs*
I...wait for it,
...wait for it,
..wait...for..it,
procrastinate...
i know, it's horrible.
i'm so ashamed of myself
i mean, i never used to be this way.
or so i think.
but i really need help.
i can't go on like this, i can't.
please, help me.
procrastination is not the way.
there must be a solution to this.
can you help me?
please?
don't make me beg on both knees.
i can't go on like this.
not anymore.
i need salvation.
i need it badly.
so, so badly.
help...
please...
help me...
*in echo*
help...
help...
help...me...
help me...
*weeping sound from afar*
I...wait for it,
...wait for it,
..wait...for..it,
procrastinate...
i know, it's horrible.
i'm so ashamed of myself
i mean, i never used to be this way.
or so i think.
but i really need help.
i can't go on like this, i can't.
please, help me.
procrastination is not the way.
there must be a solution to this.
can you help me?
please?
don't make me beg on both knees.
i can't go on like this.
not anymore.
i need salvation.
i need it badly.
so, so badly.
help...
please...
help me...
*in echo*
help...
help...
help...me...
help me...
*weeping sound from afar*
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
ola...
Me brain been split in TWINE! haven't posted shit on this blog because.......
i was moving. -_-'
never did like moving. sure it's fun if you've got friends to help you out with. But if you're doing it alone, it's madness!
A friend did help out the first day. NUZA! -Nura.
She loves doing shit with me. haha (not literally)
But she enjoys doing crazy stuff and making wild decisions with me.
LOVE YA NUNU! *nuzzle*
My boyfriend did help out. LOVELY ain't it? heh
He' been such a darl, helping me keep my head together.
Well, now that i've moved, and I'VE GOT THE INTERNET!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
i can slowly crawl back into my usual life.
So, ADIOS!
i'll be back with more posts soon once something INTERESTING and AMAZING actually happens to me.
:)
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
shit...
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
turn back time
it doesn't matter how many times you wish you hadn't said it
what matters is, that you said it.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
chapter thirty-two
i go upstairs with Freya and sit down on the feeding chair, next to the window. It's strange, now that this room is finally decorated - lilac walls , white floorboards, flower fairies, the lot it's like it was never my room, that that part of my life never even happened.
she's sucking sweetly now, outside, there's a fine wintery drizzle falling like gossaer beneath the glow of the street lamp. I look at the red neon clock on top of the drawers: 11.26 p.m., half an hour left until next year. I wonder what this year will bring: great days, shit days, shocks and surprises; moments of joy, The Black Cloud . . . If there's a guarantee of anything, it's that life won't leave a thing out and yet this year, it's like i'm ready for it. For the first time in my life, I don't feel scared.
i hear the familiar whistle and two-steps-at-a-tine if Jim coming up the stairs. He sticks his head around the door.
'Everything alright?' he says. 'Can i come in?'
'Course.' I sile and Jim sits down on the tiny pink stool we bought from Ikea and draws it close to us, his legs up by his shoulders like a gnome.
'Wow, she's going at it like Lisa from 
The Simpsons, isn't she?' he laughs, watching her suck like she's not been fed for a week.
The Simpsons, isn't she?' he laughs, watching her suck like she's not been fed for a week.'She got your hair' I say, stroking it. 'It's all growing i different directions.'
'She got y gorgeous feet too. though. And her mother's eyes.'
The floorboards reverberate with the thump, thump of the music. We hear the familiar delighted shriek of my mother and laugh with recognition.
Jim strokes Freya's head.
'I can't believe how much i love her,' he says.
'Jim Ashcroft, i say, 'you're so bloody soft'
11.40. Twenty minutes until 2008. We can hear the intro to The Killers, 'Mr Brightside' and Gina shout, 'Oh my God, i love this one!'
Jim smiles at me, then leans over and kisses me on the mouth. 'I've got something to ask you,' he says, 'something I need to clear up.'
I kiss him back. 'Oh yeah, what's that?'
He gets off the stoll and onto his knees and I laugh, nervously, because i've got an idea what he's about to do and i don't know, i don't know how i feel about it. We're alright as we are aren't we? And i don't know if i want that - not just yet! The big while wedding doesn't quite appeal anymore and I don't know if i fancy the house on a cul-de-sac and our wedding anniversary picture on the mantelpiece, and the Center Parks holidays. I don't know if i want to be like everyone else and to have the 'normal family', what the hell does that mean, anyway? Everyone's a weirdo if you look closely enough.
But he's on his knees now and he's got a glint in his eye and he's taking my hand and i'm wracking my brains for the right thing to say and then he says, 'Tess?'
'Yes?' I say, as if i'm on the precipice of a cliffe, about to fall over.
'Will you go out with me?'
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
chapter eighteen
The air's knocked out of me as he suddenly starts kissing me again. 'That's enough talking for one day, you sexy, sexy girl.' He puts his hands in my hair and pulls at the roots. 'Coz I want you.' He leads me by the head and i surrender, flopping all my bags down and collapsing with him onto the sofa, giggling. 'I want to devour you. Right now, Right here.'
'Oh really?'
'Yes, really.'
'We'll have to see about that.'
He's on top of me now and we're tonguing and our breathing is fast and shallow. He puts his hand up my skirt and my thighs shudder involuntarily as he runs one finger from my knickers all the way down my thigh. I slip my hand down his jeans and i feel his balls, warm and deliciously familiar in my hand and we're groaning now and sort of laughing all at the same time and I think, God this is good. Fuck, I've missed this. Then his hands start to roam under my smock top (thank God for the current fashion) and up to my belly button Shit! Is there a bump? There's definitely a curve to that area now but you can't see it when i'm lying down, surely, or can you? I hope he won't notice, I pray he won't notice... Then his hands are roaming up my top and he's dangerously near the hammock-bra. Fuck, fuck, the hammock-bra! This is like a bloody obstacle course! I have to act fast and so I undo it at the back and whip it off, throwing it as far away as i possibly can. But it lands in a heap right in front of Laurence's eye level. 'Fuck me,' he says, eyes popping out of his head, 'I could fit my head in that.'
I redden, embarrassed but he doesn't seem fussed. He just kisses my neck, up my neck, biting kisses all over my jaw, and on my eyelids and then he lifts his entire body and lays down on me. He smells of sun-on-skin and fresh air and I feel him press his pelvis down into me, his dick twitch in his jeans. His hands are on my breasts now, his breathing urgent, our kisses more frenzied. 'Jesus.' Laurence stops kissing me and looks down my top. ' They're massive!' he laughs. 'They're fucking magnificent!' I laugh too but he stops me with another kiss and then he's undoing his flies and I think I might explode with desire and I can already feel the tell-take flush across my chest and the nagging, pulling throb between my legs. I lift up my skirt. I've totally surrendered and we're pushing our pelvises together slow and hard and I'm a gonner now, the pregnancy thing pushed firmly to the back of my mind. The sofa's squeaking beneath us, my breathing's rapid and I'm loving this, I'm absolutely loving this!! I've longed for the moment for so long and...
Monday, June 1, 2009
days
each day i find
to be a miraculous day
not just for me
but for the people around
yet there are days
when people wish could be better
because of events that happen
which caused or causes some problems
what say you, my friend
would consider this day to be?
is it a joyous day?
a sad day?
the usual day?
or the unforgettable?
do know this.
no matter what day each day becomes,
one day, will always be a special day
one day, will always be a horrible day
but then,
one day, things get back together
just like the way before
and you'll be back on your way
heading towards the day you aim for
(whichever day that may be)
enjoy your day,
dear sir/madam.
enjoy
your day. *smile*
2nd June 2009
sure, a few of you are gonna be syked that i'm back with the blogging.
not saying that i miss it
not saying that i'll be posting something each day now
just pointing out that
i blog, for a reason
and the reason i blog,
is because i have something to say
and the reason i have something to say through writting a blog
is because there really isn't someone out there who listens (other than the exceptionally few good friends i love)
so writing what i have to say, via blogging
is the best way i can be heard.
first post after say, a millenium?
haha, not too bad i reckon.
pointless, but not bad
i'm happy.
yet i haven't really gotten out what i have to say
but meh
it's late
and i couldn't be bothered.
Monday, May 4, 2009
current
summer breeze
you were just there a moment ago
why so soon?
ignore the cold winter breaths
change is in the air, yes
but some things will never change
sudden urges i do feel
yet i
hesitate
in taking a step forward
Sunday, May 3, 2009
dug up emo crap
Don’t leave me here alone
Within such distance it’s not fair
I can reach for the light
But I just can’t touch it.
Oh why do I cry
Is this the end of another try
Oh I hear you sigh
Is this another time
when our love just dies
Don’t go
It’s raining and its cold
Hold me close
I’m never letting go
Chase away the shadows of the day
Don’t go
Just stay.
Pass the time of loves divine
Walk along the streets I hear your voice
Can you see above the sky
And say you’ve found me
Oh why do I cry
Is it the last resort for all our lies
Oh I hear you sigh
Is it you or me who’s in denial
Don’t go
It’s raining and it’s cold
Hold me close
I’m never letting go
Chase away the shadows of the day
Don’t go
Just stay
ain't that right.
“Bitches and bastards are common things to see.
But put on a pair of positive specs, and the world changes instantly.”
recollection lost
"Requesting data code m_910207"
"*******"
“access denied”
“ ******* ”
“access denied”
“ ******* “
“access denied”
what the f..
right.
“ ****** “
“access granted”
that’s pretty much how my life is
usually it’s denial
not from others
but from myself.
And occasionally, I take the effort to grant people entrance
….. into my personal space.
That’s right, I have a personal space.
Shocking I know.
No doubt that I’m always so morbid and sinicle
But hey, that’s just me
You got a problem with that
Get a number and get in line.
Life is just too damn complicated for me to take some time off
Just to accompany it’s journey
Therefore do not expect me to enjoy the ride
Cause I sure hell will be annoyed
There’s just too much drama going on
And right now I just don’t feel that it’s my time to begin understanding
I don’t think that I’ll EVER begin to understand.
Monday, April 20, 2009
legendary...indeed you are
"..legend....wait for it.............................
dairy!"
right, we all get it, you are legend-dairy
give it a rest now
you're life does not revolve around "how i met your mother"
dairy!"
right, we all get it, you are legend-dairy
give it a rest now
you're life does not revolve around "how i met your mother"
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
For You
Let me feel your touch
it's what i'm craving for
It's just about you
It's never bout another
It ain't about the money
it ain't about the clothes
it's about your love
that i can't stop thinking of
romances that spark
moments that embark
it's just another day
when i think of you this way
love me for a second
love me for a day
love me under the rain
love me without pain
give me breath
and support me with care
give me your hand
i will hold on til the end
it's what i'm craving for
It's just about you
It's never bout another
It ain't about the money
it ain't about the clothes
it's about your love
that i can't stop thinking of
romances that spark
moments that embark
it's just another day
when i think of you this way
love me for a second
love me for a day
love me under the rain
love me without pain
give me breath
and support me with care
give me your hand
i will hold on til the end
Sunday, March 29, 2009
crash and burn
why do i bother waiting...
keeping my hopes up...
EVERY SINGLE TIME?!
ah shite...
i lost my wings and i can't go home
i've crashed and burned
and i'm lost alone
so i say my goodbyes
i know you don't care
but i'll say it anyway
hope at least someone cares.
keeping my hopes up...
EVERY SINGLE TIME?!
ah shite...
i lost my wings and i can't go home
i've crashed and burned
and i'm lost alone
so i say my goodbyes
i know you don't care
but i'll say it anyway
hope at least someone cares.
Saturday, March 28, 2009
white noise
you stand by watching
swaying like there's nothing to consider.
curiosity?
or just because that's how you are.
someone shouts,
yet you remain,
untouched.
you react to distant sounds,
just not the ones around you.
i envy you,
being clueless .
caring, attentive...a mother.
that's the best i can do.
i am the white noise.
not his or hers.
neither yours.
just 'the' white noise.
i cannot approach you.
such commitment might just kill.
there is that space,
between us two.
every time i take a chance,
i just fall.
swaying like there's nothing to consider.
curiosity?
or just because that's how you are.
someone shouts,
yet you remain,
untouched.
you react to distant sounds,
just not the ones around you.
i envy you,
being clueless .
caring, attentive...a mother.
that's the best i can do.
i am the white noise.
not his or hers.
neither yours.
just 'the' white noise.
i cannot approach you.
such commitment might just kill.
there is that space,
between us two.
every time i take a chance,
i just fall.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
apologies
alright, the previous blog is beyond recognition, even coming from my point of view.
please ignore if you must.
it is difficult to not being able to post a blog daily
you've got people saying how life is full of colors to see and adventures to go to yadi-yada...
look around!
not that i'm color blind or shit like that.
who has the time to see the rainbow falling down from the sky...
even if it hits us right in the face
......doubt we'd have a clue
wish i'd have the time to just sit down, don't give a rats arse about things around me
just enjoy the best gift ever from our dear friend, "The Almighty"
but that's a load of bull to think of...
at least that's what you'd say to me...pfft
oh piss off!
your not perfect either, so?
as if you've got an AMAZING life to share with.
bloody wanker..
why am i even writing this?
oh yeah, cause my blog hasn't been updated lately.
hah
i'm having the strangest feeling ever..
hmmmm......
*walks away*
please ignore if you must.
it is difficult to not being able to post a blog daily
you've got people saying how life is full of colors to see and adventures to go to yadi-yada...
look around!
not that i'm color blind or shit like that.
who has the time to see the rainbow falling down from the sky...
even if it hits us right in the face
......doubt we'd have a clue
wish i'd have the time to just sit down, don't give a rats arse about things around me
just enjoy the best gift ever from our dear friend, "The Almighty"
but that's a load of bull to think of...
at least that's what you'd say to me...pfft
oh piss off!
your not perfect either, so?
as if you've got an AMAZING life to share with.
bloody wanker..
why am i even writing this?
oh yeah, cause my blog hasn't been updated lately.
hah
i'm having the strangest feeling ever..
hmmmm......
*walks away*
Monday, March 23, 2009
sigh
well, guess boys will be boys now eh?
can't the world just, belong to us WOMEN...
it's only fair.
come on, face the facts.
can't the world just, belong to us WOMEN...
it's only fair.
come on, face the facts.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
stranger to me
"i think my clock is running counter-clockwise"
what does that mean?"i think i love you"
what does that mean?"i like you"
what does that mean?
"i want you"
i know what that means.
*awkward glance*
*awkward glance*
hereditary psychoticness
"HARLEQUIN!"
i laugh *grins*
*papa loves mambo playing from the ever so "tidy" room which kev squats in*
i won't mind being harlequin.
i've got the kicks for it.
since images of assassinations run through my mind after hearing these quirky jazz/ballroom music
bet ya i can do a good job at being a psychopathic talk show host
idolizing the joker and actually own a joker beach towel (hugging it every night)
does have an affect on my personality somehow
not saying i'll start going about laughing like a maniac killing people off
as if it were a game.
i'm still sane
sometimes insane
but mostly sane...
am i?
*grins*
i laugh *grins*
*papa loves mambo playing from the ever so "tidy" room which kev squats in*
i won't mind being harlequin.
i've got the kicks for it.
since images of assassinations run through my mind after hearing these quirky jazz/ballroom music
bet ya i can do a good job at being a psychopathic talk show host
idolizing the joker and actually own a joker beach towel (hugging it every night)
does have an affect on my personality somehow
not saying i'll start going about laughing like a maniac killing people off
as if it were a game.
i'm still sane
sometimes insane
but mostly sane...
am i?
*grins*
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Customary peace
my, it's raining again.
i doubt that i've fully recovered from my sorethroat
seems though life is playing a game with me
ah shit, i've forgotten the rules again
.....
.....
.....
.............. now i've got it
kinda hard to dig up the past when you've got SACs to think about.
there's only one rule to it, that is...
"you can't fucking leave the game"
funny rule ain't it?
bullocks, wish i'd know what i want
wish i'd know what you want
birthdays are going about lately
parties and all that shiz
it's entertaining, but it just sucks the life out of me at times.
wonder how it'd be like when i start partying at clubs late in the night?
you can come along if you ask nicely
i won't bite.
*grins*
i doubt that i've fully recovered from my sorethroat
seems though life is playing a game with me
ah shit, i've forgotten the rules again
.....
.....
.....
.............. now i've got it
kinda hard to dig up the past when you've got SACs to think about.
there's only one rule to it, that is...
"you can't fucking leave the game"
funny rule ain't it?
bullocks, wish i'd know what i want
wish i'd know what you want
birthdays are going about lately
parties and all that shiz
it's entertaining, but it just sucks the life out of me at times.
wonder how it'd be like when i start partying at clubs late in the night?
you can come along if you ask nicely
i won't bite.
*grins*
Saturday, March 7, 2009
come my way
i dreamt of you today
so soon
and why......no, not why
but how?
you left a mark so deep
deep enough to swallow me whole.
it's frustrating
but i like it
i want more of it
then you were gone again.
it's a game isn't it
who can hold on longer without breaking
i think you've won
and i think you know you've won
it kills to see you hurt
yet does it hurt for you to see me cry?
guess not
desperate i am?
is it against the law to say that i've been desperate?
give up, move on
they both sound so simple
but i need the tutorial
cause for me it's just too damn fucking hard
you wouldn't understand
cause you've never been touched by pain
there's a barrier
between us, humans and pain
that barrier seems to have been breached
what cruel personality could have done such a thing
do you know?
cause i don't
let's just go away
some place dark and cold
just come my way
cause i'll protect you from the hurt
i'll try...at least
or is it me who needs that protection from you......
so soon
and why......no, not why
but how?
you left a mark so deep
deep enough to swallow me whole.
it's frustrating
but i like it
i want more of it
then you were gone again.
it's a game isn't it
who can hold on longer without breaking
i think you've won
and i think you know you've won
it kills to see you hurt
yet does it hurt for you to see me cry?
guess not
desperate i am?
is it against the law to say that i've been desperate?
give up, move on
they both sound so simple
but i need the tutorial
cause for me it's just too damn fucking hard
you wouldn't understand
cause you've never been touched by pain
there's a barrier
between us, humans and pain
that barrier seems to have been breached
what cruel personality could have done such a thing
do you know?
cause i don't
let's just go away
some place dark and cold
just come my way
cause i'll protect you from the hurt
i'll try...at least
or is it me who needs that protection from you......
Friday, March 6, 2009
scars
when was the last time you looked down at your hands
and said thank you?
what are our hands for really?
do we need them so that we are capable to live in this unjustly commentated land?
our hands
they're pushed away
scarred by the harsh blows we so strongly beat
when do we need them?
when do we see them?
they cannot speak
nor drop a tear
it rains
and
they shade us
even though it doesn't do much good
at least they know they've tried
when we fall from grace
they embrace us ever so tightly
assuring us we will be safe
when you cry
they're there to catch your tears
they resemble our kindness
and hope
look closely into your hands
do you see the scars?
they're there you know
you just have to feel it
and once you do
don't cry
it's okey
they'll never leave your side
and said thank you?
what are our hands for really?
do we need them so that we are capable to live in this unjustly commentated land?
our hands
they're pushed away
scarred by the harsh blows we so strongly beat
when do we need them?
when do we see them?
they cannot speak
nor drop a tear
it rains
and
they shade us
even though it doesn't do much good
at least they know they've tried
when we fall from grace
they embrace us ever so tightly
assuring us we will be safe
when you cry
they're there to catch your tears
they resemble our kindness
and hope
look closely into your hands
do you see the scars?
they're there you know
you just have to feel it
and once you do
don't cry
it's okey
they'll never leave your side
Saturday, February 28, 2009
technically.....
you know what sucks most in life?
thinking about your past.
it gets me every time and i just cannot find a way out of it all
sad really
i seem so loopy and wild to people
but deep down, yes, way way way way down
it's a different story
i guess you just need to have a moment with me and talk, only talk
unless you find that boring, then whoop-di-do and la-di-da
there's always another story to tell in one's life
figured that mine wasn't that important or mattered to anyone in this piece of shit world...
(nah, jokes, i love earth, i'd never wanna leave earth.)
so, have pitty, show sympathy, do whatever you like
i couldn't care less now
cuz i've been fucked up and i know
i'll just leave it that way for now.
no point "linger"- ing on right? (listening to linger now by the cranberries)
am i turning gay?
i do hope so...
LOL jokes
i'm straight and will remain straight
thinking about your past.
it gets me every time and i just cannot find a way out of it all
sad really
i seem so loopy and wild to people
but deep down, yes, way way way way down
it's a different story
i guess you just need to have a moment with me and talk, only talk
unless you find that boring, then whoop-di-do and la-di-da
there's always another story to tell in one's life
figured that mine wasn't that important or mattered to anyone in this piece of shit world...
(nah, jokes, i love earth, i'd never wanna leave earth.)
so, have pitty, show sympathy, do whatever you like
i couldn't care less now
cuz i've been fucked up and i know
i'll just leave it that way for now.
no point "linger"- ing on right? (listening to linger now by the cranberries)
am i turning gay?
i do hope so...
LOL jokes
i'm straight and will remain straight
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
thank you
i am neither stronger nor more admirable than you.
i am no different from what you are outside.
but from within,
we are worlds apart.
you say i have the strength to carry the heaviest burdens on my shoulders,
that i have the strongest will to survive alone.
but it is also my weakness to carry these burdens and to find my own survival.
i am no better than you, you should know.
we share the same purposes in life though we uphold a different duty to ourselves.
our beliefs are different,
but it doesn't mean that we cannot share our beliefs.
i cannot thank you enough.
i bless the soul you have.
you made me stand strong,
and you carry me through the pain.
i love you so much,
and i give you my life.
i ask of The Almighty, to give you my chances,
because with that chance, i can have another chance to see you.
it is the ones around me whom i cherish most.
it is you whom i always will stand by.
i am no different from what you are outside.
but from within,
we are worlds apart.
you say i have the strength to carry the heaviest burdens on my shoulders,
that i have the strongest will to survive alone.
but it is also my weakness to carry these burdens and to find my own survival.
i am no better than you, you should know.
we share the same purposes in life though we uphold a different duty to ourselves.
our beliefs are different,
but it doesn't mean that we cannot share our beliefs.
i cannot thank you enough.
i bless the soul you have.
you made me stand strong,
and you carry me through the pain.
i love you so much,
and i give you my life.
i ask of The Almighty, to give you my chances,
because with that chance, i can have another chance to see you.
it is the ones around me whom i cherish most.
it is you whom i always will stand by.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
f*** maturity
wanna know how f***ed up life can be?
just ask me.
i'll have an answer, and it's not the kind to be taken as a joke
living with a brother, is not the best thing in the world.
especially when your brother is 21 and with an IQ of say, 5
and a responsibility rating level of 2 outta 10.
this may sound wrong, but hell i have to say it
i just got f***ed up by my brother...
it's a huge disappointment.
also, i'm gonna start judging people by how they think, speak or even look.
and i can be spot on with their personality!
i shit you not, i can tell what they'll do, or say next.
whats worst than an idiot being an idiot.
an idiot being an idiot and not knowing they are one.
just ask me.
i'll have an answer, and it's not the kind to be taken as a joke
living with a brother, is not the best thing in the world.
especially when your brother is 21 and with an IQ of say, 5
and a responsibility rating level of 2 outta 10.
this may sound wrong, but hell i have to say it
i just got f***ed up by my brother...
it's a huge disappointment.
also, i'm gonna start judging people by how they think, speak or even look.
and i can be spot on with their personality!
i shit you not, i can tell what they'll do, or say next.
whats worst than an idiot being an idiot.
an idiot being an idiot and not knowing they are one.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
7 pounds
"7 pounds".
all i can say for this beautifully written and directed film, is nothing.
I can almost hear my own heartbeat as i was watching this film. I can hear my lungs trying so hard to grasp for air, only to soothe my mind and emotions.
Speechless.
Only the unstoppable flow of tears can tell you how much this film connects to everyone.
If you haven't watched it, please do.
It is amazing beyond comparison to any other film ever shown.
all i can say for this beautifully written and directed film, is nothing.
I can almost hear my own heartbeat as i was watching this film. I can hear my lungs trying so hard to grasp for air, only to soothe my mind and emotions.
Speechless.
Only the unstoppable flow of tears can tell you how much this film connects to everyone.
If you haven't watched it, please do.
It is amazing beyond comparison to any other film ever shown.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
directing/alcohol/grill'd/yarra/home
at first we were suppose to meet up at starbucks, the one via collins. Unfortunately lib was stuck at PT traffic (PT: public transport). raz then texted me to ask whether i wanna hang out - being living in the city and all that, and i told her to join me and lib at starbucks, via collins of course. Time was around 2.30 in the afternoon, and the sun was hot.
Raz arrived earlier than lib, since she was still stuck at PT traffic all the way down at Blackburn. So raz and i just got drinks from starbucks and walked our way to fed square, cause she said that her sis mentioned a few good art shows being displayed. We weren't there for long til lib rang me up and said that she's reached. By the way, while i was in the gallery gift store, i found a book titled 'ABC men's fashion" & "Custom Kicks", two very awesome books. Just wondering if i should get the "Custom Kicks" for myself and the "ABC men's fashion for ivan. ("Custom Kicks" is all about the wicked rad laced up sneakers with awesome designs.)
Not to waste time (cause lib got there by say, 3.30.), me and lib chilled at the fed square cafe (don't remember the name of it) and started discussing about the directorial needs for the play "Metamorphosis" that we're working on as our assessment for theatre studies. We ordered drinks of course and lib got this sweet looking chocolate drink. First a huge dob of chocolate ice cream was plunged into the glass, later on chocolate syrup was added, then the milk. That's not the average chocolate drink you see everyday let me tell ya that. Me on the other hand, went looking at the beverage menus. There was 'bloody marry', 'flying II', 'japanese slippers'....blah blah blah. Read the ingredients and felt like 'flying II' was a better choice to go with. It was gin and lemon juice with sparkling juice, also there was some other ingredient but i just can't get it into my head to recall it. It's a nice drink, very refreshing. A strawberry was topped on the glass which was just lovely on valentines day don't you think? lol
moving on now. We finished off our discussion not long after raz joined us at the cafe after having a little tour round the gallery. She tells me that it's good so guess i'll check it out next weekend. Lib got hungry, which later on got contagious, thus raz and i started to feel that craving of edible chemicals slowly digesting down to our spacious belly. We hanged at the steps of fed square for a bit to discuss about dinner and finally we came to a conclusion to have burgers at Grill'd. Once we got there, we decided to take away and hang by the state library since the day was turning out fine with the cool breeze. At Grill'd, they ask for your name as you place an order so they won't mess up the orders. In between that, i don't know what happen, it was either the guy at the counter has a spelling disorder or the dude who served me my order has got the verbal defect. I hear raz's name pronounced as "NARA", fortunately for lib, he got it right. Then i anticipated the awesome burger i'll be getting and this is when my life just crushed into a million pieces. My identity is now confirmed as raided and dumped. The dude called out "Michael". "MICHAEL"! Like what the fiddle-pop is your problem? (fiddle-pop: fuck) Can you not read? That was emberressing, raz and lib just busted their morphine tubes and started laughing mad. My confidence level just decreased into a percentage of 10%.
I'm just gonna forget that EVER happened to me. We got our butts to the state library and starting sinking our teeth into the burgers. Lib had to rush off home cuz her brother was all alone since their parents had gone out. Raz and i on the other hand went strolling round melbourne city. We had fun conversing random topics by the benches opposite the Myers mall. Walked by swanston and a boutique was still open -"Episode". I spotted a sweet black strapless dress with baby rose prints on it. Sadly, they didn't have my size, and i'm sure size 14 isn't my size. But we continued browsing through the store and found some cool fabrics. They also sell mario action figures and cute cuddly dolls with lovely floral print fabrics. These things don't come cheap actually, probably 30AUS a piece for the necklace, which says "Pop" with a balloon right by it. I found a top with hearts and aces which was kinda my style, unpredictable and funky. Had a hard time deciding whether or not to get it, but in the end, i had to give in to retail therapy. Got the top, i'm happy, we're happy, we go walk by the yarra bridge. I've never pictured the river bank to be that captivating. Things felt wrong when we got to the greens, as there were couples cuddling at every possible spot we see so we had to leave that awkward situation. But the scenery was nice that evening. The sun was setting and it had a really attractive orangy, dark evil sense to it. And so i took a snap of it. Photography is just my thing, you should know.
Got back home about 8.30 in the evening, which was then that raz realized she'd better get going in case she misses the train or even get back late at night when it's all dark and dangerous on the streets. I wanted to send her off but she refused. She started rushing off when I'm almost close to getting ready to go with her. She ran for the elevator and wouldn't open the hallway entrance until the lift came about. She got on it and started attacking the "close" button for the elevator. I couldn't get to her, so she managed to succeed in letting me stay back. I'm just worried and as a friend i wanna make sure that things are going safe. That was pretty much my day on valentines day. Other than finding things amusing with people getting roses and people GIVING roses, we've managed to survived the utter isolation of being single chicks about town.
Raz arrived earlier than lib, since she was still stuck at PT traffic all the way down at Blackburn. So raz and i just got drinks from starbucks and walked our way to fed square, cause she said that her sis mentioned a few good art shows being displayed. We weren't there for long til lib rang me up and said that she's reached. By the way, while i was in the gallery gift store, i found a book titled 'ABC men's fashion" & "Custom Kicks", two very awesome books. Just wondering if i should get the "Custom Kicks" for myself and the "ABC men's fashion for ivan. ("Custom Kicks" is all about the wicked rad laced up sneakers with awesome designs.)
Not to waste time (cause lib got there by say, 3.30.), me and lib chilled at the fed square cafe (don't remember the name of it) and started discussing about the directorial needs for the play "Metamorphosis" that we're working on as our assessment for theatre studies. We ordered drinks of course and lib got this sweet looking chocolate drink. First a huge dob of chocolate ice cream was plunged into the glass, later on chocolate syrup was added, then the milk. That's not the average chocolate drink you see everyday let me tell ya that. Me on the other hand, went looking at the beverage menus. There was 'bloody marry', 'flying II', 'japanese slippers'....blah blah blah. Read the ingredients and felt like 'flying II' was a better choice to go with. It was gin and lemon juice with sparkling juice, also there was some other ingredient but i just can't get it into my head to recall it. It's a nice drink, very refreshing. A strawberry was topped on the glass which was just lovely on valentines day don't you think? lol
moving on now. We finished off our discussion not long after raz joined us at the cafe after having a little tour round the gallery. She tells me that it's good so guess i'll check it out next weekend. Lib got hungry, which later on got contagious, thus raz and i started to feel that craving of edible chemicals slowly digesting down to our spacious belly. We hanged at the steps of fed square for a bit to discuss about dinner and finally we came to a conclusion to have burgers at Grill'd. Once we got there, we decided to take away and hang by the state library since the day was turning out fine with the cool breeze. At Grill'd, they ask for your name as you place an order so they won't mess up the orders. In between that, i don't know what happen, it was either the guy at the counter has a spelling disorder or the dude who served me my order has got the verbal defect. I hear raz's name pronounced as "NARA", fortunately for lib, he got it right. Then i anticipated the awesome burger i'll be getting and this is when my life just crushed into a million pieces. My identity is now confirmed as raided and dumped. The dude called out "Michael". "MICHAEL"! Like what the fiddle-pop is your problem? (fiddle-pop: fuck) Can you not read? That was emberressing, raz and lib just busted their morphine tubes and started laughing mad. My confidence level just decreased into a percentage of 10%.I'm just gonna forget that EVER happened to me. We got our butts to the state library and starting sinking our teeth into the burgers. Lib had to rush off home cuz her brother was all alone since their parents had gone out. Raz and i on the other hand went strolling round melbourne city. We had fun conversing random topics by the benches opposite the Myers mall. Walked by swanston and a boutique was still open -"Episode". I spotted a sweet black strapless dress with baby rose prints on it. Sadly, they didn't have my size, and i'm sure size 14 isn't my size. But we continued browsing through the store and found some cool fabrics. They also sell mario action figures and cute cuddly dolls with lovely floral print fabrics. These things don't come cheap actually, probably 30AUS a piece for the necklace, which says "Pop" with a balloon right by it. I found a top with hearts and aces which was kinda my style, unpredictable and funky. Had a hard time deciding whether or not to get it, but in the end, i had to give in to retail therapy. Got the top, i'm happy, we're happy, we go walk by the yarra bridge. I've never pictured the river bank to be that captivating. Things felt wrong when we got to the greens, as there were couples cuddling at every possible spot we see so we had to leave that awkward situation. But the scenery was nice that evening. The sun was setting and it had a really attractive orangy, dark evil sense to it. And so i took a snap of it. Photography is just my thing, you should know.
Got back home about 8.30 in the evening, which was then that raz realized she'd better get going in case she misses the train or even get back late at night when it's all dark and dangerous on the streets. I wanted to send her off but she refused. She started rushing off when I'm almost close to getting ready to go with her. She ran for the elevator and wouldn't open the hallway entrance until the lift came about. She got on it and started attacking the "close" button for the elevator. I couldn't get to her, so she managed to succeed in letting me stay back. I'm just worried and as a friend i wanna make sure that things are going safe. That was pretty much my day on valentines day. Other than finding things amusing with people getting roses and people GIVING roses, we've managed to survived the utter isolation of being single chicks about town.
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