white noise

you stand by watching
swaying like there's nothing to consider.
curiosity?
or just because that's how you are.
someone shouts,
yet you remain,
untouched.
you react to distant sounds,
just not the ones around you.
i envy you,
being clueless .
caring, attentive...a mother.
that's the best i can do.
i am the white noise.
not his or hers.
neither yours.
just 'the' white noise.
i cannot approach you.
such commitment might just kill.
there is that space,
between us two.
every time i take a chance,
i just fall.