shopping

i wanna go shopping.

love, reign o'er me

mistaken for strangers

why don't you be the writer

your song

when it all falls down

youtopia

enough

where the story ends

say when

fei fei sun, you are so beautiful

this beat be making me go ape

sex appeal level 10/10

arms of a thief

asobi!

jamie foxx & LMFAO nice

jose gonzalez

crosses

never will

Please donate, it's worth it. Truly

http://www.charitywater.org/
check out the website
watch the videos
and make a difference
donate to Charity Water

Thank you

we'll be alright

acapella

armand, you know what you're doing

she got somethin MC's can kiss, so do i

it doesn't meet

the littlest things matter most. To me at least

everything is the same

lets go for a bike ride

sometimes, things just stop moving

it's what i've got

pavilion mall
(it'll look 10x better with my SLR, but i didn't have it with me)














penang bridge













somewhere in malaysia
(the blur works quite well)

i fall under the 2nd definition. Assuming that's how my mother sees it

definision of INCOMPETENT
1. not legally qualifies
2. inadequate to or unsuitable for a particular purpose
3.a. lacking the qualities needed for effective action
b. unable to function properly eg. :incompetent heart valves

- incompetent noun
- in.com.pe.tent.ly adverb

the iris

it's a change, change is good, right?

undercover martyn ;)

THE LOVED ONES

The Loved Ones

Title sounds pretty....THINK AGAIN!

This ia a horror film
and people..............
get ready for

spine creeping
blood
goar
just FREAKY CREEPY horror.

This is gonna make some horror films look like whimpy, try-hard horror

EASY A

Easy A
I'm sure it's a must watch for those who've seen comedy films that are nothing but original and fudging hilarious such as:
Zombieland
&
Superbad
...
well, check out the "Easy A" Trailer



I've got a chance to see a preview screening
and i will be posting my review on my blog
But i'm sure it's gonna be a movie that i'm sure to laugh my arse off
Can't wait
:D

nicest thing - Kate Nash

you could be happy - Snow Patrol

see what i've done

Dear ballerina

Dancing like a beautiful ballerina, she twirls and twirls and twirls, like there's just no end to it all.
Then she falls. She doesn't get up, no, she doesn't. She's laying there, bare naked. You can almost touch her skin with your eyes.

She's pale, very pale.

She doesn't like getting up when she falls. Know why?
Because she doesn't know why she should.
What's wrong with falling and never getting up? What's wrong with laying there waiting to be preyed on? You see a girl or do you see a soul? A weak soul, dimming, blending into the dark night. The moonlight is shining, but she hides away from it.

Those eyes. They're wide open. Not once has she blinked.
You ask yourself "Is she alright? Is she dead?" I tell you she's perfectly fine.
The one who's not is you.

She sees you. She sees right through you, just like she's starring into a crystal clear window, through to all the dirt and blood. She sees your secrets. That's why she's got her eyes wide open. But she's not scared. Not one single bone in her feels a chill from all the gore and horror.

She's just a beautiful ballerina.

in the night

what are words? what are words to me? what are words to you? They can mean so much to me, yet so little. Then again, they can mean nothing at all. Words are slowly disappearing. Words are replaced. Words that reflect pain, guilt, conscience, love, no one uses words anymore. It's a war we've lost against each other. Not being able to express our feelings. Simply because people are ignoring feelings. Neglecting it, abandoning feelings. Scrunching it up like a piece of blank paper and throwing it into the bin. Not the recyling one, but the one that says "TRASH" Are feelings considered rubbish? Cause if so i'm rubbish then. Just crumple me up and throw me away because i'm full of rubbish. I'm full of shit if you may say so. People find feelings to be annoying, a waste of effort to provide even the slightest bit of sympathy. How much rubbish have we thrown away over the years? Countless. How much of it have we picked up and considered it a jewel? Too few to even have it written down as a note. Feelings are like splinters. It gets you deep and it hurts. Not to mention that it's hard to get rid of. It's either you leave it in or just go through a hard time trying to pick it out. We're all bloody emotional. I'm envious of a lot of things. Probably envious of you. It's a compliment, really.

weekend is in

In fact

Waking early in the morning
The sun is shining brightly once again
Looking out your window waiting for the rain
Wishing it could wash away the pain

I ask of you to realize
There’s more to life than this

It’s time for you to notice
No matter how cliche these words may sound
You know it's all that you've been doing
All that you'll continue doing


So,

Live a little harder
Love a little better
Learn to reinvent yourself
Learn to stand up tall

Fact is,

Dreams will always live on
Within our own believe
We strive to be the greatest
For all of the world to see

So,

hold your head up high
Cause it’s you that makes it all come true

i'm flawed

It’s never been the same since you walked away
But now you’ve left me
And it’s all because of what I’ve done
It’s never been the same when you screamed my name
But deep down you were hurting more than anyone

I stole your heart
And I cut it deep
I left a scar
That everyone can see
Words can never mend you now
For all the wrongs that I have done
It isn’t fair, and I know
Forgiveness isn’t what you ask for
Because I’ve drowned your voice
In all the ugly truths I speak

I know now that forever
I can never kiss your smile again
You will never trust my eyes again

All this time, all this while
I was living a painless lie
Forgot that all I had
Was standing right by my side
I was hiding from romantic truths
All because I thought
It wasn’t what I’d choose

A quote from "Fragile Things" by Neil Gaiman

"In a perfect perfect world you could fuck people without giving them a piece of your heart. And every glittering kiss and every touch of flesh is another shard of heart you'll never see again. Until walking (waking? calling?) on your own is unsupportable."

"unknown"

another work just completed.

It's in ma blood

I've still got. :)

sketch

quick sketch of an idea while seeing my brother making a fool of himself trying to hold a mug up.

In my head

another one of my works done lately.

"unknown"

one of my works done lately.

night after night

second hand is ticking on the clock.
it goes by not like how it's suppose to be.
not minutes, nor hours, but days.
very long and empty days.

i'd enjoy the sound of footsteps occasionally, but there is none to be heard.
Moving shadows, i dare to ignore.

A silent whisper gently close to my ear? none.

I tell you i'm a okey, when in fact
i'm not at all.
at least not for a while.

This smile, the laughter, the giggles.
That's another me i play.
Another me, that is for only fools to see.
The other me, only for me.
No one else.

Rare occasion

This is a first.

withdrawal

alas i saw
within those eyes
i prayth not it be eyes so wide
for within it lies a mortal site
trembles and shakes my very core
wering thin within my soul

it bores

i cannot control it
stop it didn't
it bores through my skin
tis horrid withdrawl

where, when, why.

sometimes i just wanna cry
sometimes i just need to cry

most of the time i know i'm hurting
most of the time i see myself hurting

every inch of me feels alone
every inch of me wants to be left alone

i think of death
i feel death

death it is
always a part of us
especially us

i want to run
run
run
run

Shopping in China (post from dad)

Shopping in China !

A man went on a business trip to China and wanted to buy some gifts for his
kids. He went to a shop and found a nice looking CD player. Wary of buying
inferior goods, he asked the shopkeeper, 'What would happen if this does
not work?'

The shopkeeper quietly points to the only sign in English that reads,
'GUARANTEE NO SPOILT'.

Feeling assured, he paid for the CD player and returns to his hotel. He
tried to use the CD player after returning to the hotel but it would not
even switch on.

He quickly return to the shop and asked for a refund or an exchange for
another unit. When the shopkeeper refuse to give either, the man points to
the sign assuring him of a guarantee.

The shopkeeper then said, 'Brother, you are in China . We read from the
Right to the Left.'

clueless

"As an actor, I feel lost. For I have pretended to be someone else and have forgotten the true me."


i honestly do not remember who qouted this
And i am honestly positive that I did not quote that...
i hope.

Fiction or fact

As a defect or some sort of a disease i assume, has lead me to be immensely attracted to observing characteristics of the most unlikely common people and to obtain these characteristics and allowed myself to believe that they have grown into part of my personality. Thus i have the uncertainty of whether or not i am "genuinely" true to myself and/or to others.

Is my personality, my characteristics, my appearance, behaviour and reactions,
are my emotions.....

Am i fiction?

FUCK, i'm bloody sick.
guess its what i get, since i couldn't be bothered seeing a doc weeks before when i wasn't this bloody fucking sick.
runny nose, teary eyes, blocked nose AND ear (si, one ear only, the left)
one more
INSOMNIA
oh, well, maybe not that one. Was born with Insomnia for pete's sake.
why isn't there a shot that you take that you'll never EVER EVER fall sick again? EVER...

noon

bah, got up at 12pm, laziness has overpowered me.
helpless
useless
descending
drowning
...

pathetic

3..2..1..









this is stupid. I feel stupid. Am i stupid?


probably shouldn't have asked you that.

a cry for help? S.O.S.? how bout one made by twigs and burnt in the middle of the desert hoping someone would see the smoke?

ever tried sending a help signal?
i bet you have a dozen times, prob more than a dozen times. I know i have.
But nonetheless...doing so, doesn't help really. The bloody "S.O.S" don't do ne good to us nowadays.
Unless your being stranded on an island or close to being eaten by sharks from your boat that's sinking in the middle of the Pacific.
Ok, my point is that, i'm in guilt. In dire guilt and i can't help but blame myself for having to feel this guilt. All my life, i have tried, REALLY TRIED all my best. ANd for once, i just felt the need to be......lazy, a sloth, pathetic and irresponsible for a while. Cuz i think i've seriously lost my feet and can't find my bloody way out of my own mess.

Regrets?

a whole hell lot of it. Yes.

Pray?

Can't rmb the last time i did. (sure is wasn't long ago)

Talk to someone bout problems?

Yeah. Nura. Just her.

Need a hug?

i suppose so.

welcome back? maybe, perhaps.

It's been a while indeed. TOo long of a while.
I have been busy, but not physically busy, more like...mentally. Explanation? Basically to summarize a full length novel of 800 pages into one sentence,......I went on to do what i THOUGHT was what i wanted but then later on realized that i BELONG somewhere else. Doesn't seem much to process right? But it sure is. Don't try it. Trust me.
The thing is, we all make mistakes. And without mistakes, we won't know what went wrong and how to fix it so that everything becomes jolly good!! *twitching left eye* I have made the biggest mistake, and i WANT TO, no, i NEED TO FIX IT! Starting fresh is the only way to go. And in my mind right now, in my oh-so very VERY troubled and stressed out mind, I wish i'm given a second chance. And when i do get that chance, make use of it well (and i mean REALLY WELL) i will. Everyone hopes for that second chance or third or fourth. But we all wish for just that one more chance that's right, which will set us straight and set us on the right track. From next week onwards, it will be the start. The start of what i wantingly hope to be, a new beginning into building a good steady foundation for my future. Support? Do i need it? Yeah, i do. But i need to turn that key on the door myself in order to get to where i really want right? You all are just the cheerleaders. :) heh, you all in pom poms...lawl.

i see you

stuck in horror
i fear of losing that very last breath

each day, falling deeper and deeper

i'm drowning, i'm begging, i'm gasping for love


give me a sign
give me a hand
or allow a silent death
so that i may rest not in peace, but just rest

not that i'm oblivious to it
but i just couldn't be fucked

the taste of bloody sorrow
kills my senses
it boils my innards, ripping me apart

i clench my teeth as i recall
breaking down that wall
was a lot harder than i thought
but you were there
over there,

the other side

i see you through the bricked wall
i see you

Voltaire - Love Letters of Great Men

The Hague 1713

I am a prisoner here in the name of the King;
they can take my life, but not the love that I feel for you.

Yes, my adorable mistress, to-night I shall see you, if I had to put my head on the block to do it.

For heaven's sake, do not speak to me in such disastrous terms as you write; you must live and be cautious; beware of Madame your mother as of your worst enemy.

What do I say?

Beware of everybody; trust no one; keep yourself in readiness, as soon as the moon is visible; I shall leave the hotel incognito, take a carriage or a chaise, we shall drive like the wind to Sheveningen; I shall take paper and ink with me; we shall write our letters.

If you love me, reassure yourself; and call all your strength and presence of mind to your aid; do not let your mother notice anything, try to have your pictures, and be assured that the menace of the greatest tortures will not prevent me to serve you.

No, nothing has the power to part me from you; our love is based upon virtue, and will last as long as our lives.

Adieu, there is nothing that I will not brave for your sake; you deserve much more than that.

Adieu, my dear heart!

Arout
(Voltaire)

Beethoven - Love Letters of Great Men

Good morning, on July 7

Though still in bed, my thoughts go out to you, my Immortal Beloved, now and then joyfully, then sadly, waiting to learn whether or not fate will hear us - I can live only wholly with you or not at all - Yes, I am resolved to wander so long away from you until I can fly to your arms and say that I am really at home with you, and can send my soul enwrapped in you into the land of spirits - Yes, unhappily it must be so - You will be the more contained since you know my fidelity to you. No one else can ever possess my heart - never - never - Oh God, why must one be parted from one whom one so loves. And yet my life in V is now a wretched life - Your love makes me at once the happiest and the unhappiest of men - At my age I need a steady, quiet life - can that be so in our connection? My angel, I have just been told that the mailcoach goes every day - therefore I must close at once so that you may receive the letter at once - Be calm, only by a calm consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.

ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

rhythm

Say that tis not be coincidence,
But I think I'm picking up pieces.

Need not ask why,
as cuz my emotions seem unstable.

one, two, step, one, two, step, one, two, step, one, two, step, .....

Rhythm of my heartbeat
Can the beating stop?

it stopped.
How strange.