reality be gone

have you ever had that feeling,
that unquenchable thirst for truth...
the untouchable thoughts of the one you care most of...
the never ending tug-of-war between love and hate...
have you felt that before?

i wish you'd say you have.
but the fact is you haven't.
not because you can't, but because you won't...

insomnia, self-rejection, depression, these are only but the means of ways in relieving such feelings and thoughts...but never to become solutions in one's survival.

i've been waiting so long, i feel as if though i've been condemned to an endless torture.
and for what?
to seek forgiveness......or to forgive?
all this while, i've never known what i've done wrong, but only know what i have done.
but it seems that it is never enough to our own expectations.
not to mine at the least...

i see the very end of the path, and yet i'm stuck right in between.
i can't go back, and i can't move forward......is this punishment?!
is this damnation?!
if so, please i beg of you,
save me from the sorrows and end this miserable life!
drive a burning stake through my cold crystal heart!
shatter it so that it can never be mended!

i'm done with listening...through with keeping God damned secrets!
i've had enough, and i've given enough!
it's time i get something in return......
i'm sick of listening to all the lies we tell each other
sick of reality!
oh how i crave a dream that is mine to live
a world that exist only to those who believe in it so dearly...

surrounded by science and logic they say, it sickens me to the very core of my soul!
what does science and logic have to do with the gift He has given us?
can science heal a broken soul?
can logic defeat the ongoing fear of survival?
how dare we become gods ourselves?! humanity has become nothing but of pity and sinful!